First of all I am truly sorry for taking so long in getting out to y’all.
You know for a year we were fighting for the cure. Not once through that
year did we ever let ourselves think any different. So when Jack was starting
to feel really sick, I thought his blood was low and he might need more
blood. After all his body was almost poisoned for almost a year between
chemo and radiation and that really, really tough surgery. So when he
was in the hospital at MDA I am thinking he need some new blood and he
will be able to come home and everything will be fine, and back on the
road to recovery. Well that was not to be. Dr. Walsh told me to take Jack
home and make him comfortable. I never realized how deep words can cut,
it took my breath away. Dr. Walsh knew this was to hit me like a lead
balloon, he had a nurse by my side. I knew right then I was losing my
sweet Jack. Dr. Walsh gave Jack 2 months, it was 5 weeks. After my conversation
with the doctor I quit my job. My place was with Jack 24/7, I hardly left
our home. Jack and I have always been close with each other. Not having
children, our relationship has only been about us. We even became closer
through his illness if that was possible.
Thank you to so many of you who helped me make Jack’s memorial service
a great success. I did not plan the food or the Harley escort. I was not
able to handle much at that time. I am so grateful for all the help yall
gave me. Talk about shutting down highway 6 on a Saturday!!! For his Harley
escort to the memorial service. Trust me, Jack was looking down on us
and he definitely approved.
Thank you just seems so small to me when y’all worked so hard making
his service a great success. Mark, you did a great job reading Jack’s
favorite poem. Jack loved his Harley, but planes always came first. He
was truly a Jack of all trades. He was an electrical engineer by trade.
He had his pilot license just for fun and owned 2 boats. He could repair
just about anything. He owned many great sports cars and two Harleys which
he truly enjoyed. We met a lot of wonderful people once he bought the Harley.
After the memorial service and everyone went home, I was alone with my
thoughts and fears. I stayed in and would walk around the house and hold
Jack in my heart and look at his pictures. Asking why-why did this happen!
It was a very lonely dark time for me.
I tried so many times to pull out the acknowledgments, I just could not
bring myself to do them. I knew Jack was gone in my head, but imy heart
could not believe it. It just seemed that when I would get out the acknowledgements
I know it was true and he was truly gone from this earth. And now I am
left with his pictures and our memories.
However, I am doing much better now. It was tough, but I feel like I am
going to be able to go on again. I love Jack and miss home like crazy,
but I also know Jack would want me to go on with my life until its my
turn to leave this earth to go home and be with my Jack. I also know its
ok for me to go on with my life.
Thank you all so very much for all your help and support, food, phone calls,
emails, and most of all, your love for Jack.
He was a very happy man. He lived his life according to Jack, he was always
smiling. One of his nicknames was ‘Smiling Jack’